Monday, October 12, 2009

Discoveries from Destruction

So I've decided that having babies DESTROYS your body. Ha, ha. Now I know why ppl don't tell you all the 'sweet' details. Because anyone who truly knew what happened to your body after birth, they would seriously rethink their decision. Of course I love my baby and I'm excited to some day have more. But it stinks that such a wonderful thing has such a crapy downfall. I mean if you don't mind having 'flap jacks' for boobs, or a 'road map' of the entire world across numerous parts of your body, or even loosing a few brain cells, then you have nothing to worry about. Ha ha. Or how about the mysterious workings of the 'thass?' You know, where your thighs and your ass are so big that you can't tell where one begins or the other ends. You know, the 'thass.' Or when you swell up like a balloon when you are pregnant and look forward to the day you can put on your totally cute high heels once again, only to find out that your feet grew and you no longer can fit in any of those wonderful girly girl shoes. Oh and my personal favorite, you lose weight (finally) but find that when you go to buy new pants, the brand that used to be the "perfect pair" are no longer flattering on your newly found hips. Oh boy! Bahahahahahahaha!! Sorry to sound so dismal, but I'm not griping I promise. I was just laughing the other day about how screwed up your body gets after having a baby. Embarrassing story..... We had friends over the other day and I know Janette's name and Greg's... see I know it.... but I was introducing them to my cousins and I totally drew a blank. I felt just awful. Janette and Greg (not a couple) are spouses of my friends and I want them to know, I really do know your name, and I just had a horrible case of the brain farts. It was so sad. I seriously believe you lose brain cells when you have a baby. So what brought on the thoughts of 'screwed up body?' Well I went to try on my cute shoes for church today. I haven't worn them since I got pregnant so I was thinking they would be perfect for my outfit today. Well..... sadly they didn't fit. ALL of my shoes don't fit me any more. Ok, just one pair that I bought in a big size are the only ones that fit. And they happen to be my most favorite pair. (+) I think it is the weirdest thing that you can still grow even when you are done growing. I have found a new best friend in all of the post pregnancy fun. the PUSH UP BRA. ha ha ha. Oh so sad. Anyways, all of the 'wonderful' things that do happen to your body are NOTHING compared to having kids. Your heart seriously grows. I know so corny, but sometimes I can actually feel my heart growing. (picture the grinch) It seriously is the best thing in life!! Nothing compares. So I want to hear all about everyones post pregnancy 'discoveries' so we can all have a good laugh together. Oh please do tell. :)

5 comments:

HILLARYnPRESTON said...

What I love... is ALL of my hair fell out right after. I'm not kidding, in huge clumps, and it was all over the house, really gross! And now all my hair is growing back and I have baby hairs sticking up all over my head, there is no taming them!

The Smith Family said...

Ha ha ha ha ha... I love you Shalyse and your very funny frequent posts! Jake and I always laugh when people say that children are the best things in the whole world... cause I bed to differ ha ha ha... I have the fly away hairs that stick up. I actually weighed less after Colby was born and then gained it back after I stopped nursing and working.

Shalyse said...

ha ha, I totally forgot about the hair thing! I'm still losing my hair, it's disgusting!

The Beachs said...

As I was reading your post I was laughing because I recognized all of those things. My hair didn't fall out. By the time I had Camden I had a whole new head of hair it grew so much, and I cut off alot.

Amber+Josh+Braiden Jarvis said...

Oh boy shalyse, i know exactly what you are talking about and so far being pregnant with the second one, things are getting worse! My hair falls out, won't curl, won't straighten, won't color right, so i pull it in a pony! And the flapjacks for boobs, oh my gosh i have none to begin with before braiden, he sucks my dry, i have even smaller boobs after nursing, then i get pregnant with this one, i can finally perky again, but only temporary!!! I will enjoy it while it lasts though. My thass is getting even bigger, it is thassX2! My butt is constantly hanging out more than it did because i can't find ANYTHING that fits me! But i never had a problem with my feet getting bigger. After Having a baby is very sad to your body, but like you said, the joy of having a child is the greatest gift anyone could ever have! Love you and miss you all! Give Kael a big kiss from Cousin Amber!