Friday, March 14, 2014

Lemons

Things have been a little nutty around here. Between sickies, Disneyland, homework, and work-work. Seems having down time doesn't happen too frequently. We decided last minute that we were going to go to Disneyland with the kids. Figured it would be the last opportunity for a while before we could all go again. You know, since Chase is trying to get into medical school and all. It was a blast!! One of the best trips we've had and we almost didn't go. The kids got sick.... Each one with something different. Kael had Croup, Claire got two different flu bugs and Molly got a cold/cough that came with a really high fever, no appetite and an ear infection. First Kael and Claire got sick and I had Molly on 'lock down' where NO ONE with sickie germs could be by her. I was a crazy nut case for a week. If I was helping my barfing daughter I wouldn't touch Molly until I de-contaminated myself. For reals.... I was a nut. But I just didn't want her getting sick..... and I didn't want to tell my children the bad news of a cancelled Disneyland trip because Molly was sick. But alas, Molly got sick anyways. And just days before we were supposed to leave. We were so lucky that we were able to get a CF clinic visit or else we definitely wouldn't have gone. Once she was on some antibiotics for her pesky ear infection, she started feeling a ton better. I'll post later on that trip.... but lets just say it was awesome.

I was really worried this time when Molly was sick. I thought for sure we would end up in the hospital. Her fever just got really bad, and then the fact that she wasn't eating well, didn't help either. She lost quite a bit of weight but that is also partly because her enzymes have decided to quit working for her. We are currently trying a bunch of different things but not much seems to be helping. The insurance won't approve the new enzymes the doctor wants to put her on so we have been battling that too.

Just a constant battle.

It sucks.


I've tried preparing myself for this but can you ever really be prepared for Lemons?

I mean you can try, but sometimes I wonder if it even helps. One of my goals for this year was to try and simplify. So that I could eliminate unnecessary stress. I'm failing miserably. I was dumb and thought I was ready to go back to school. So I signed up... only part-time... but still. I really thought it wasn't going to add stress..... idiot.

Ha ha, oh well. I really am enjoying my classes but I feel guilty when I'm away from my kids. And I'm not able to put 100% into my classes because I have a BABY with CF.

Babies take up so much of your time and then you throw in a chronic illness and finding time for anything extra just gets harder.

The battles will never end. It will never get easier.

I had a thought a while ago. I think I've heard this saying somewhere..... or maybe I made it up..... probably not, I'm not that smart. Ha ha.

Struggles don't get easier, you just get stronger.

I really do believe this to be true. Especially now. Hardships definitely do not get easier, but it seems that we become stronger as we battle on and push forward.

This year I've had a running theme. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I've always liked this saying but for some reason it's really been tuggin on my heart strings. When I get stressed or worried or dealing with some kind of battle, I think of this saying and it helps me stay positive. It helps me stay strong.

I life isn't going to get easier. And there will always be lemons thrown my way. Life is rude like that. Doesn't it know that throwing fruit is just not nice? Rudeness.

So let's all turn our lemons into lemonade. Stay thirsty my friends..... Cause I got a crap load a lemons headed my way.


2 comments:

Allison said...

In the middle of reading, I was going to comment, "No, things DO get easier; they really do!" But then you wrote that it's not that anything's easier, but that we get stronger and it made me go Hmmm. You may have something there. Then again, my 19 year old with CF drives himself to clinics and visits and handles his own everything, which is easier physically on the mom, but not emotionally. Never emotionally! The worry is always there. Lemonade, baby. So glad to meet you!

Shalyse Rogers said...

It's so true! So glad to 'meet' you as well. Love your blog, it has given me strength on several occasions.